Hello. I’m Belinda.

I’m the first spokesrabbit for Small Pet Select.

I never thought I would have a job, but that just goes to show you. You don’t know what’s coming next. That can make you hide under the basement steps but it keeps life interesting.

“Keep your ears up,” as they say.

Why was I chosen? I’m not sure. I do like my hay and there’s “no pellet left behind,” if you know what I mean.

All I know is a few weeks ago, my roommate said out of the blue “Belinda! You’re going to have a job. For Small Pet Select. Isn’t that exciting?”

Then she walked away without explaining anything. She does that a lot, tells me something then walks away in a fidgety manner.

So I couldn’t help myself. I started to imagine all the ways it could go wrong.

What if I had to move in with the owners? I’m sure the Gordons are lovely but I have everything set up here the way I like it. Plus, my boyfriend is here and he has issues that I don’t want to get into (HIPAA laws).

What if they’re looking for big ideas for new products? I’m more paws-on. Give me a toy and a few hours and you’ll have your “review” all over the floor.

What if it’s a management job? I am not good with power. “If you want to find where your human hid the alfalfa hay, you have to climb on the table yourself.” I’ve said it a million times.

Then I told myself: Belinda. Calm down.

And I calmed down.

I said: Think of the possibilities. The chance to use your talents and passions.

So, over the next few days, I thought about all the jobs I could do well.

-- Hay inspector (alfalfa focus)

-- Climbing instructor

-- Motivational coach

-- Event greeter

-- Packaging assistant

-- Carpet de-installer

-- Massage therapy reviewer

-- Model

The last one might seem like I have an ego but my roommate takes photos of me day and night. All I do is turn my head to the right or left and she says, “Perfect! Excellent work!” I know my good angles and there is nothing egotistical about that if it’s your job.

But then I heard her on the phone. Telling someone that I’m a spokesrabbit starting Labor Day weekend. And that I’ll be sending out an email to everyone every Sunday.

I start to panic, thinking I’m supposed to write about all of the products and I haven’t even tried all of the herbal blends yet. This puts a lot of pressure on me and I’m busy enough with my boyfriend and trying to find where things are hidden around this house.

Then she says to whomever, “The emails won’t be about products as much as Belinda just telling stories.”

Now that is almost as bad. I will do my best but how can I “tell stories” when nothing ever happens here?

I guess except for the foster rabbits coming and going. And the drama I have with someone else in this house (no names but he’s English). And my boyfriend’s problems.

Also, now when my roommate comes into the room without warning and yells, “Belinda! How did you get over that barricade?” and “What are you doing with your head in the alfalfa box?” I will have a good answer.

I will just say I am doing my job.

Sincerely,

Belinda

Spokesrabbit, Small Pet Select